The times that I am analyzing conversations and my relation to people and the rest of the outside world are the worst. Suddenly the lighthearted innocent conversations I may have had come back to me in a sinister light. All of the things people said to me are twisting and taking on darker and less comfortable meanings. What seemed heartfelt and honest only hours ago now seems plastic and brittle, like if I were to breath too sharply the facade would break and the less pleasant meaning would come sulking into the light.

There is also no other time of the day that I feel such horrible and crushing loneliness. I feel lost, hopeless, like I’m drifting in a world all my own. No one else is here with me and thus I am left with my own ever sickening thoughts and the oppressing force of my own solitary condition.

Why else would I be sitting in bed at this hour pouring out this drivel? I am exhausted, physically and emotionally every night by the repetition and routine of this sleepless internal battle. And what am I to do? I have tried all of the remedy’s in the book short of medication. I have tried meditation, warm milk (and I hate milk!), you name it, I have had it recommended and tried it. Somehow I still feel that it is not healthy to get this worked up. Most of the time I am fairly un-stressed and calm, but come long, sleepless nights and I am abandoned to the fate of a worry wort, over-thinker, psycho. I become hopeless, rambling in my own head looking for the key, my release from this sick situation and dreamless wasteland.

What is it? What is the key to my sleep and sanity? It sounds weak but I feel like if there was someone else here to hold me and be held, I would not feel this way. My head may cease its spinning and twisted imaginings and settle into the folds of slumber. Is it too much to ask, to just be able to sleep and dream like anyone else.

FUCK.

Another divide in the transhumanist community is on the subject of what modification the humans they consider. There are two main groups in this divide, the electronic or technological group, and the pharma or medical group. The technological group mainly concerns itself with breakthroughs in technologies like nano tech that allow humans to gain advantages over their peers through interactions with computers and the like. On the other hand, the medical group is more interested in advances in medicine and surgical procedures. Two of the most popular medical transhumanist things are Provigil (Modafinil), a wakefulness and concentration improver with less side effects than many of the other options (ritalin etc). The other hot topic is Lasik. Lasik is a surgical procedure that uses lasers to improve peoples vision. The use of Lasik to get better than 20/20 vision is where the controversy comes from. There are many sports figures today who have had Lasik to improve their performance and yet, they are not allowed to use steroids or other stimulants. From a transhumanist perspective, there is no reason for the medical field to disallow these surgeries or drugs for people who don’t “need” them. That is, up till now, the medical field has been entirely based on getting people up to the base line, back to normal. Transhumanists; however, want to use the medicine to extend the definition and push their way toward being “better humans”.

Which leads us to becoming a practicing transhumanist. At this early stage in the development of transhumanism, it is not looked upon in the best light. There are those who condemn it in much the same way that not too long ago, piercing and tattoos were not socially acceptable. There are advantages to be had from both sides of the medial/technological divide, there is no reason to limit oneself to just one or the other. One of the big advantages of pharma at this stage of the game is that it is difficult for others to identify what you have done. When taking Provigil, you are no different than usual, other than the increased concentration and reduced need for sleep. On the other side, with current technology, it is obvious if you are using anything that is not part of the “norm”. For instance, if you are wearing a glasses mounted HUD, anyone who looks at you can tell you are “different” and “weird”. This can lead to attitudes that are detrimental to the movement and ones mental health. However, things like haptic feedback belts are much harder to identify and much less noticeable.

The first step, if you want to try practicing transhumanism is to do some research. There have been some truly amazing projects over the years that can be constructed and adapted to your needs and which can be a lot of fun. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, haptic feedback belts are a great intro to both one of the fundamental aspects of transhumanism (and even humans themselves) neuroplacticity, and a good way to learn about tech and how to do stuff your self. With all of the new ground being broken in this area, there are very few commercial alternatives to the projects that have been produced and thus, the DIY scene ties in nicely with transhumanisim.

That’s it for this article, in the next article I will talk more about projects and ideas to get started with transhumanism and talk more about neuroplacticity. I also hope to cover some of the parallels between anarchy and transhumanism.

While that may seem a bit on the cryptic side, it is an accurate representation of what the essence of the movement is, without compromising the differences in ideologies and methods present within the community. At a base level there are two types of transhumanists: practitioners, and theorists. Practitioners are a rare breed that actually try out new technologies to further transhumanism. They are the early adopters that actually want to reach a “better” state. They want to push the boundaries of what is normal, what is accepted, even what is human. This is in contrast to the theorists who just write about and hypothesise about what is transhumanism or what emerging technologies that could be used to achieve that state. In my mind, that removes the entire point of calling oneself a transhumanist. Why claim membership of a group that you are unwilling to join completely? what do you have to gain by intellectually thinking something is a good idea but not working personally to further that goal? In many ways, this is what makes transhumanism close to another topic that is of interest to me: anarchy. Anarchy has the same problem of people voting for it in the abstract but not being willing to actually practice it or push for it.

To me, the value of transhumanism is not in the end game, the becoming “post human”. For me the value is in the immediate applicability to our everyday lives and situations. Its ability to change and enhance the way we work, think, play and even exist. I am an info junkie. I love the Internet for the simple fact that anything i am interested in i can look up whenever i want and start learning. For me this trend started when i was 10 and taught myself HTML using only the Internet and my local library. After that i snowballed, I went on to learn CSS and javascript and then even more: ASP, PHP, Perl, Python, C, C++ and more. As soon as i have an interest in something, i look it up and start learning my way. The Internet has been a huge enabler for me to do that. It provides an endless wealth of information that i can access any time. The transhumanist side of that is that with some of the possible technological advances, this could be possible in an even faster and more accessible way. Instead of pulling out my laptop and finding wifi, or even pulling out my iPhone and checking over the 3G network, i could have a display integrated into a pair of glasses or goggles (or even in the not to distant future, contacts.) That would make it possible to look up data without pulling out a device, without changing the way that you interact with the outside world (more of less).

(Part two is coming soon. Part two will cover pharma Vs. electronic changes to humans and how to go from transhumanist theory to practice.)